Friday, August 15, 2008

'6% US inflation is coming!'

Hooray!

By Admin ∙ Satire Bureau ∙ August 12, 2008

New York and Toronto (Satire Bureau) August 11, 2008- Inflation in the US could hit 6 per cent by the fall, CIBC World Markets’ chief economist said recently.

“You’ve got to go back to 1982, in the midst of the stagflation that followed the second OPEC oil shock, to see the last time American inflation was clocked at that kind of pace for any sustained period,” warned Jeff Rubin of the large Toronto-based investment bank.

The reaction was swift.

“Hot diggity dog!” whooped Macy’s shopper Jean Byer upon hearing the good news. “I can’t wait ‘till the new lower prices take effect!”

“Just 6 percent?” questioned Sears tool shopper, Charles “Chuck” Key. “It’s about time stuff got cheaper!”

The reaction was also unexpected.

“No, no, no,” a spokeswoman for CIBC countered. “Our chief economist meant that 6% is too high; it’s a bad thing, not something to get happy about.”

Just try telling that to baker, P. G. “Pop” Ovver, proprietor of Dough, Re, Mi, in Rye, NY. For his business, the price of a 50-pound bag of flour has gone from $8 to $29, seeds used in multigrain bread now cost $150 a bag instead of $50, and a wholesale carton of eggs that once went for 70 cents now cost $1.50.

“Hmm,” mused Satire Bureau economist Dr. G. D. Peay, “On my calculator, the inflation on those prices is between 100% and nearly 400%. Where does this Rubin guy come up with a measly 6%?”

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